Let us bemoan the tough life of the single male

Being a single guy is just so hard, ya know?*

Click for larger image.

First there's the ugly women you have to put up with. Instead of enjoying one night stands, you wake up next to a woman with bad skin. Which is still apparently a one night stand, but not with the hottie you deserve. Then there's all the sleeping with dirty hookers. Oh, the things men must put up with! If only those bitch hotties realized what a catch you are so you wouldn't have to seek sex from fugly prostitutes.

The other bitches in your life include your nagging mother (who probably has the gall to point out your faults--as if you had any!) and your evil ex who either didn't realize what a prize she had in you and dumped you, or you dumped her, yet continue to use her for sex whenever hookers and ugly chicks aren't available.

And really, how could any woman not want you? What with how well you take care of yourself (binges of doritos and beer), that bangin' crib (er, shithole), and promising career (underage porn? Seriously?)

Of course you're such a loser for having balanced interests and hobbies such as watching rom-coms and figure skating or making model airplanes instead of doing something manly like racing cars or, I don't know, punching babies or something. At least you don't have to waste your time caring about other human beings by shopping for presents or putting the seat down.

Of course, you've learned that women only want what they can't have; which apparently means a guy who respects women, takes care of his body and home, and applies himself to his work. Like she could ever get that! She's just a gold digger, missing out on a chance to be with a Nice Guy like you.

I'm not sure which part of the pictograph guys should be more offended by: the theory or the reality. Either way you're expected to be a mediocre, self-obsessed, and immature jerk. And people think feminists assume the worst of men!

*NOTE: I realize that this pictograph is a joke. I have no issue with MadAtoms for posting this content. My post is in regard to the narcissistic males who identify with it.