Break out the violin--thin women are being marginalized

You know how, in American society, fat women are revered as the ideal standard of beauty? How thin women are grossly under-represented in popular culture and can't find clothes or amenities to fit their bodies and are constantly ridiculed for being too stupid and lazy to take care of their bodies?

I don't think I need to belabor that point any further.

Obviously, fat women (and fat people in general) are the hated class. We are treated as subhuman, especially on the good ol' interwebz. Finding fat-positive news is like finding a $10 bill on the ground--surprising and delightful.

Unfortunately, in their efforts to boost the image and self-esteem of such women, such articles and advertisements often use an offensive and imprecise turn of phrase: "real women." This is nothing new. Plus size women of all ages have grown accustomed to shopping in the "women's" section of department stores, while their smaller friends perused the "misses" or even "juniors." It is insulting and flat-out untrue to claim that body size--larger or smaller--is a factor in whether someone has achieved adult or personhood status.

Jamie Keiles at Teenagerie just posted on this very topic. She feels degraded by Lane Bryant's "real woman dollars" advertisements. She does make a good point:

In the pursuit of body acceptance, I think it is important that we, as people, try to distance ourselves from this sort of "othering" language. Just because we are going to welcome larger women into the idea of beauty, it does not mean we need to ostracize smaller women in the process.

First, notice her apropos choice of words: "Just because we are going to welcome larger women into the idea of beauty." This statement is sad on account of its accuracy. Thin women own beauty. They may choose to welcome larger women into this magical place (if we behave ourselves by not getting uppity?) but we are damned lucky they're being so sporting about it.

I agree that this sort of "othering" language is a poor choice of words. But while I think that the department store scenario presented above is problematic, I find Lane Bryant's use of the term to be less so. The very fact that Lane Bryant caters solely to plus sizes indicates that they consider all of their customers real women. This does not necessarily mean that women who are not their customer base are not also real women. It could be taken as an implied also: Fat women are also real women, despite the fact that our society considers them subhuman.

 Demotivationals represent the cream of humanity.

I adore Jamie and do not begrudge her this topic, because it's a worthy one for discussion. But Jamie is not the only one with this complaint. New York Fashion Week is doing their first ever fashion show. Notice the comments at the article. After the first three "finally!"s (which I would like to echo) the complaints roll in:

I don't understand why they so often use the term "real" women when referring to plus size women. While I do feel that we should embrace our bodies regardless of what size they are, plus size statistically means not healthy.

Because no discussion of fat women is complete unless we point out (inaccurately) that despite the fact that we're being nice by letting them have some pretty clothes, they really don't deserve it because they're OMGZ UNHEALTHY!!11!

There is nothing more annoying than plus-size women calling themselves 'real' women. Not all of us are overweight, nor do we desire to be. Find another term to describe yourselves. Not everyone is fat.

Seriously? Let's examine the facts:

• Fat women have been marginalized, ridiculed, and abused by society at large.

• Some people are stepping up and saying that fat women are worthy of being treated with respect and consideration as people and consumers.

• Sometimes their phrasing could be taken to suggest that fat women's size makes them more worthy than smaller women.

This whole argument strikes me as similar to the way white people get upset that they are not socially permitted to say a certain slur that black people can freely use. Oh, those oppressed white people!

You want to get your panties in a twist over the inference (and I do mean inference, not implication) that thin women are somehow lesser than fat women? Maybe you could take that as a taste, just a teeny, tiny nibble of the banquet of negativity that fat women are presented with in every facet of their lives. And then feel free to celebrate the fact that your fat sisters are finally getting some of the attention and respect that is normally lavished upon thin women. It's not always about you.

This is an example of thin privilege. Thin women are constantly being told that they are the real women--but it doesn't have to be stated explicitly because the message is saturated in every aspect of our culture. The same message has to be spelled out for fat women because we won't receive it any way. That takes anything away from thin women. If you are thin, your womanhood is not, never has been, in question. It is very much in question for fat women and we are asserting the answer ourselves: damn right, we are real women.

UPDATE: I made a link to this post at Teenagerie and received this comment, which makes a good point:

Palaverer, I read a bit of your blog entry, and in the first couple lines you pointed out that plus-size women have trouble finding clothes, whereas it is easy for thin women to find clothing that fits them. I strongly disagree with this statement. I am extremely thin (about size 0-2) and I can never find clothing, especially pants or shorts, that fit me correctly. I wear t-shirts just about everyday because those are the only tops that fit me really well. I had to go about 2 hours away from where I live to find a clothing store, Forever 21, that had at least some clothes in my size, and even still many of their clothing in "small" was too baggy or didn't fit me correctly. I also feel that you don't truly understand what it's like to be asked if you have an eating disorder once a week, or sit in a class where a teacher says that she would never want to be your size and doesn't understand how men could ever be attracted to someone your size. I have experienced that and I'm sure other thin women have too, so don't you dare try to say that our complaints unwarranted. And my "womanhood" has definitely been mocked and put into question, like when people say thin women have "the body of a twelve year old boy". I think you need to look at things from a different perspective and realize that thin women can be hurt by mean weight comments as well. 

My response:

Chelsea, you are right, and I apologize for not taking that point of view into account. I did not say that it is easy for all thin women to find clothing, but I did use sarcasm to imply that non-plus size women do, which did not exclude the smallest range of sizes. You are right that thin women put up with a lot of crap, too, which is what feminism in general is fighting against. All women are constantly judged based on their looks and how well they conform to certain standards; even when they conform to those standards, they can never be good enough. Thin women are very often positively represented in popular culture (while fat women are almost never presented, let alone positively), but in practice, they may not be appreciated for their conformance (I mean that in the physical sense) to beauty and "health" standards.

That's why I agree that using "real women" as a description is problematic. Because one can interpret it as excluding certain females, and I think dividing women that way is just another means to conquer them. But I do not think that it is meant that way, and I would like to see thin women get the real point: it is not about lowering thin women to a lesser status, but raising fat women to a higher one.